There's a Gorilla After Me

Well, I’m five days into the challenge at my Bikram Yoga studio—to attend 30 classes in 30 days—and my knees are still intact. My shoulders are a little stiff, my lower back a little tender, but my intent is holding fast. One teacher says the real test will be in 7 or 8 more days, when I’ve hit day 15 and I’m dragging myself yet again to another 90-minute class. She says by then, I’ll feel like my knees are on their last legs (or my legs are on their last knees), I may feel as if I’m going to die, and I’ll likely be wondering why I ever got the silly idea to start this challenge to begin with. At that point, the teachers say you just check your brain at the door and just push through. It feels great to have taken it on, really. After only five days of stretching, strengthening, and breathing, I feel looser, lighter, freer. I’m also sleeping better and more deeply…probably from pure exhaustion. Last night, I dreamt I was hiding in some deep jungle from a 400-pound gorilla. I thought about climbing a tree to get out of his reach. But eventually I decided to try for a getaway in my old Nissan Sentra. I don’t even have a Sentra anymore! What exactly is that gorilla in the room? How and when did he enter my consciousness? Perhaps the gorilla is my fear that I won’t finish. Perhaps I’m afraid something is going to come along and break my knees before I hit my goal. Maybe the gorilla is my knees! Or maybe it’s just a primal fear that I’ll be knuckle walking at the end of June because that’s all I can manage. We will see. I’ll post a picture.