When I started waking up with a backache regularly, I first thought my spine was weakening with age. But I do way too much yoga and take too many calcium supplements for that. So, what else could it be besides just normal wear and tear? My kid! All those years of wrestling I let him do on my aging mattress! He straps on his WWE belt, puts on a Mysterioso head mask and Mardi Gras beads around his neck, and then dropkicks and choke slams his two four-foot stuffed teddy bears (better them than me, as I found out the hard way). He’s got a back tuck perfected too. Well, all that WWE action created a sunken cavern on the left side of my mattress. And the right side? It’s like trying to sleep on a frost heave. So I bought a new mattress and box spring this week, which I have declared a wrestling-free zone. I moved his official ring to his dad’s house, where D. can wrestle to his heart’s content. Have you heard the WWE now has a family-friendly approach? They’ve gotten rid of the fake blood, toned down the language, and eliminated the lingerie scenes, just for a PG rating. Perfect! All the more encouragement for my son to give up his potential MLB career for the WWE.